Wyso Old?

As a writing minor and overall superstar, I was awarded the task of authoring (ya it’s a word look it up http://www.thefreedictionary.com/authoring) Jared Wyso’s birthday invite. 

Nailed it:

The moment we’ve all been waiting for is almost here! That’s right, Jersey Shore premieres and this is a perfect opportunity to celebrate after the initial excitement. And because I always try to find an excuse to party, January 6, 1989 was the birth of Baby lion-tailed m…acaques, at Woodland Park Zoo (Seattle)!!!

Oh and Jared (Wyso, J.Dub, Wysle, Wysel, Baby J WW, That Douchebag, Hitler’s Dream) happened to have been born this day, 23(thousand) years ago. We’re going to kill two birds with one stone and use it as an excuse to see HASHTAG ELLE AYE from a kool view. 

If you decide you want to actually be around whatshisface, know it’s your responsiblity to cock slap him at any mention of that guy from The Notebook. And dubstep.

We’re dressing up, not talking about “jobs”, getting wasted, admitting to loving Fratmusic.com and I’ll probably get kicked out.  

Plz use this event invitation as a forum to post humiliating pictures of “Jared.” Make sure they include captions like “Wyso-cha Little Bitch” and “Wyso Aryan.” 

Because I’ve been spending my post-grad time earning my MRS degree, making a cake was the next clear move.

Boom:

And the birthday boy LOVED IT:

From that magic moment, the party moved to L Bar in Hollywood, but the actual name is as ambiguous as its unmarked entrance. http://www.yelp.com/biz/club-l-los-angeles

Friendship:

Black on black aka uniform:

Photo Cred: Yahnny